If It's Not Perfect, It's Temporary

New Lessons From An Old Song - And Why More Women Need A Sideman.

A lot of my favorite bands growing up were built around a fantastic girl singer, an adventurous guitar player, and great songs—The Cardigans, The Innocence Mission, Sixpence, 10,000 Maniacs, and Sarah McLachlan (before the dog song).

Now, one of my favorite things to do is play guitar and sing harmonies next to amazing female singer/songwriters.

I love the way a girl and a guy’s voices blend together. It’s unlike any other sound in the world.

Usually, in church circles, songs are led by men, and women are expected to sing the harmony. Over 90% of Christian radio hits over the last ten years have been male voices, and every song that has joined the CCLI Top 40 list (of songs churches sing) in that time have also been Christian radio hits. This means that, in the church, we assume without realizing it, that worship is sung in a man’s voice.

That has a lot of implications, most of which aren’t great, and none of which are the point of this post. Though we ought to talk about that, shouldn’t we? I’m not talking about worship music today here at all, just something to note…

What I want to tell you is just how fun it is as a guy to sing harmony with a great female singer, and how sadly unfamiliar it is to most of us. To support a sister’s voice, in its strength or tenderness, wit or winsomeness, is an absolute joy. I get to sing things with them that I never do when I harmonize with my brothers (something I also love to do).

All that to say…

God has smiled on me and let me live out my own Christian/Indie/Americana version of those bands I love by playing with incredible artists and friends like Sandra McCracken, Melanie Penn, and Jess Ray and Taylor Leonhardt (both inside and outside of their band Mission House).

This weekend I got to pull double-duty, playing with Taylor on Friday and Melanie on Saturday. Melanie is starting to tour her new project "The Rising", a beautiful collection of songs that paints a picture of the time between Christ's resurrection and his ascension, with each song telling the story from the perspective of a different character from the narrative. She's got a great band and the shows have been a lot of fun.

Check out this really incredible video she just released.

I’ve also been doing more and more shows with Taylor as her sideman, and it’s been a ton of fun. I truly believe she’s one of the best songwriters, guitar players, and storytellers around.

Side note: I just got a CampSnap, a screen-free digital camera, and I’m kind of obsessed. Here’s a picture I took of Taylor during her show. I probably should have told her I was going to do this.

The event we played was a fundraiser for a ministry in Minneapolis that cares for women in the local prison, and supports them as they integrate back into life on the outside. It’s hard, beautiful, and sadly necessary work.

Taylor usually asks me to play a song or two during her shows, and that night After the Last Tear Falls felt like an obvious choice. It has lines like:

After the last dirty politician, after the last meal down at the mission,
After the last lonely night in prison, there is love…

After the last “this marriage is over,” after the last young girl’s innocence is stolen,
After the last years of silence that won’t let a heart open, there is love…
Love, love, love…

I wrote those lyrics probably 22 years ago. Half a lifetime. I’ve sung them hundreds of times, but it felt a little different this time.

It struck me, as I was singing, that the evening we were a part of was a celebration. It was not a sad night, though we talked about a lot of sad things.

After the Last Tear Falls is a song that’s literally just a list of the saddest things that can happen. You’d assume it would be a very sad song. But it’s not. Because it’s clear that the story isn’t over.

There are parts of my life that very, very much feel like they belong on a list of the saddest things. You might have things like that too. Most people do.

But I’m finally starting to understand, or maybe believe in a different way, that they are temporary.

What is good — truly good — is eternal. Everything else has an expiration date.

And I don’t just mean like, “Yay, bad things are gone. All dogs go to heaven. Smile and move on.”

What I mean is: that person who can’t stop hurting you, or can’t stop hurting themselves; who is destroying their life or career or workplace. Or your church or your relationship or the idea you've held of a peaceful family evening… it will not always be like this.

One day you will see them as God sees them. You will know who they really are. They will know who they really are. They will know WHOSE they are.

It will be glorious.

And you won’t just see them—they’ll see you. See past your defenses and your mistakes. Your selfishness and distance and judginess. They’ll see you as you really are - body, soul and spirit.

You will, too.

It will be glorious.

Sandra wrote an amazing song about this, and my friend Scott literally texted me lyrics from it not five minutes ago:

“If it’s not okay, then it is not the end. And this is not okay. So I know this is not the end.”

Where there was chaos, there will be voices. Beautiful. Singing together in harmony.

And unlike me this weekend, they’ll hit every harmony and remember all the words.

- Andrew

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You can’t talk about amazing female singer/songwriters without mentioning one of the G.O.A.T.s: Sara Groves—who just happened to come to see Taylor and me Friday night,, and even joined Taylor to sing a new song they wrote together a few months ago. To no one's surprise, it was brilliant.

Sara took this video of After The Last Tear Falls

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A post shared by @andrewosenga

and this one of one of Taylor’s new songs, Stevie Wonder.

If you want to have yourself an amazing evening, I’m playing another show with Taylor this Friday in Atlanta at Eddie’s Attic. Yet another legend, the great Leslie Jordan, is opening the show. Come on out!